Knotted after a Sojourn home

Just back from a fleeting but much awaited trip to India (home)! Right from when the flight announces its intent to land on home ground,  anxiety takes over. An unwarranted but constant battle begins - that between-  Expectations and reality! Past and present! Change and Constants! 

The first few hours were spent reconciling between all my worlds. Estranged connections started to wire up and the contours of the city I visited a year ago began to take shape. It seemed like a lot had happened in the time I was away. The city had a strange arrogance this time around. Perhaps I noticed it just as an Audi whooshed past. The city was embellished with consumerism that came to life as I drove past crowded stores of Louis Vuitton, Zara, Clarks- wondering if the hoarding of a 'Khadi Bhandar' would show up behind the rummages of the past! Just as I was looking out-  the bumpy roads, traffic jams, packed auto rickshaws  and the lady wearing jasmine on her hair, took me back to familiar ground in a jiffy. 

The IT industry had found its roots in Bangalore a few years ago. However, it seemed like it is only now that one can visualize the impact of that change, in the form of an established and definitive new culture. The denizens were foreign and yet seemed to define the very essence of the cities character. The language, the phrases, the grammar had all changed and money seemed to be dominating conversations. Even the one rupee coins had changed weight and shape. However there was a fresh energy,confidence, even sense of fashion that I saw in all segments of the city. Every job had got a new 'avatar', every service was re-packaged, every person had a new wardrobe and was technically advanced. The euphoria could be felt all around and was evident in the prosperity and choices people were making. 

The election campaign, and victory of the Aam Aadmi Party in Delhi proclaimed that change was again landing itself. This time not confining itself to a specific industry or city, but it was going to guzzle the entire nation. The victory moved me; Strangely I could feel an excruciating  yet pleasant pain within when I heard they had won. It brought back hope which had ceased to exist in this country with a dis-functional democracy. 

I realized that 'time is now' and transactional presence cannot be matched with any number of fleeting visits. I complained and struggled to find my roots in this new city like a clingy child. I failed to find a good reason to reconcile with some shallow aspects of the culture. But if you did see through all that clutter, my soul was alive again. I enjoyed spending time with family - (that is unmatched to anything in life) , meeting friends, having conversations, thinking and mostly feeling! There is just an abundance of everything out there. Maybe it is that which is overwhelming and makes me want to wander off to new cities often times. 

I am back now in London after what seemed like the longest flight ever. I walked the streets today- looking for something familiar, a face a routine, or passion. I realized that all my life I have worked hard in filling life with a constant 'longing'. Maybe thats what makes me seek and makes me empty at the same time. One needs to be 'empty' to 'fill up' and one should 'long' to 'find'. On that note, I was reminded of something thats been bothering me all day. 

“We all have an old knot in the heart we wish to untie.” 

--Michael Ondaatje 

Here is to a new year in London. Hoping some knots get tied, some untied and the year is fulfilling in its own way. 

Who am I? Where did I come from?

Clearly, there was an India when I grew up. An India that influenced me heavily in becoming who I am today.  There was a city, Bangalore that I called home, there were things that constituted my world. The world around me was complex, it was that of a middle class household, modest life style, an awareness of the poor and the touch-points with the elite and the rich which kind of made the journey rather complete in its own way. However, despite how complex India was, life was truly simple!

I realized if I ever had to define myself, my core would come from that world. It was influenced by realizing and experiencing the value of money. It was about having a steadfast respect for education and a relentless faith in hard-work.

Using public transport kept me grounded to all people that constituted society. Conversing with strangers over long rides in the Indian Railway coaches,  made be bond with diversity of religion/region/food and class. Going every summer to the small towns in Madhya Pradesh and spending my vacation in villages, made me appreciate the small bits of comfort I had in our humble abode in Bangalore. Spending my time in the South taught me why music/fine arts and intellect can be wrapped in simplicity of a house with just basics and only essentials. Whilst spending summers in the North of India made me realize that there is sometimes joy in just taking risks and being fearless about experimenting and coming home and enjoying some indulgence. My world was a microcosm of so many contradictions that at a very early age I had to think and make choices and choose things that became my identity overtime. I had the time and space to think while cycling peacefully home after a long day or when there was an electricity outage and all of us friends would just be out on the streets chatting. Life was busy, physically exhausting, but I just felt like I had time and space and there was not too much to clutter my mind.

Far away from those years, I just look around and I am in London, on a couch, typing on a computer which of course brings the entire world right next to me, one click or search away. I have all the time to experience virtually. I can read the story of the making of the Indian railways, I can even get the map and explore the stations I passed every summer on my way from Bangalore to Delhi. I can probably get back to India from London in lesser time than what I spent travelling to Delhi. I can read about classical music, I can even find my little village on google map. But what I see is clutter, data and information. These days I cannot seem to find the space and time to assimilate what I experience and actually absorb from it. I cannot find time to reflect and make choices. I just feel overwhelmed with it all. In all this comfort, I want to slide back on a uncomfortable sleeper coach or sit by the street light of Rajajinagar chatting away with my friends waiting for the electricity to come back. I don't know the right or wrong of it all, all of the above are just opinions and not judgement of any sorts. I guess I am for now energized to cage my thoughts and times and start to tell you stories of when I was a child!

Hopefully I do get down to doing it.

I want to break free

Its one of those days when I don't want to think. I want to sing. I want to tap my fingers. I want to just feel the fresh air, the light and the flesh inside of me. I want be free of my ties, my thoughts, my mails, my texts, my books, my computer and wander about. I want to just be one with those notes that I sing! I want to be lost in those beats that I hear even when nothing is playing. I want to possibly just empty myself of everything inside of me and fill myself with possibly what matters the most – peace??freedom? or nothing?

The year gone by - 2012

Take the plunge – you may never find out otherwise. Life is a bitch and a fairy tale! All depends on perspective! Wise people have often said the same things and crystallized the essence of life into simple one lines! Humans indignantly battle this truth and finally almost like a prophecy coming true, realization strikes! But experience we must. This year has been about experiencing a new home, writing lesser than I had promised to, chasing a few dreams, giving up a few and about simplifying my life. I have been displaced a lot more from my beliefs about belonging, purpose and desire. Primarily reconciling to the fact that physical confines and boundaries are merely a way of looking at a world setup in the medieval times. Purpose can be found in solemn dreams and desire can be fulfilled inside one self. The most notable aspect of this year was the musical journey. Structure strangely creates an unforced restrain in creativity which makes the pursuit almost exponentially more charming. All these years I just knew sounds that added beats to tunes, now I know how to just look at time as a new dimension that can dance a ballad with musical notes. I discovered so many new people, made so many new strong bonds and formed a queer new bond with myself. I am happy for 2012 has ended and I have several new impressions to add to my personality. How though will 2013 turn out? We shall see.

Involuntary Hiatus

Back after a break with nothing besides the paltry details of social interactions, Musical Realizations, True breaks a fortnight spent with the viruses of sorts to talk about.

Life in London continues to be good, socially hectic and artistically liberating. Decided to drop off 6 inches of hair today just for no good reason. Shopped in between. But most importantly made friends with my tabla all over again. Its interesting how restarting from scratch in some relationships can be a richer and more complete experience of sorts.

I have started to like patterns and algorithms which help me understand the rhythm! Playing with words is a new found pass time. 'Letting Go' is a new art I have learned. So lots has happened in this involuntary hiatus. I was not away doing just nothing!

Fireplaces and a sauntering mind

Quotes that randomly crept when the fireplace was lit and the mind was let loose

• I don't lie, I just tell people what ought to be the truth!
• Houses with large mirrors are good for the ego! #Godblessmylandlady
• Fall fall till you succeed! #Iceskating #Lessonsinlife
• Need to stay away from #chocolate! Without resolution;-)
• Drumming was the only thing I was ever good at - John Bonham! I think I would re-phrase it as ' Drumming is the only thing that makes me alive!' #Realization
• My rant in a diary could be torn! I could say sorry and ask my friends to forgive me and hope that it is forgotten in time. I can't delete e-mails I have sent or remarks I have made or delete traces of data I have left in the internet space! #Realization
• Bump on my head- Attempt to clean the house oblivious to objects that are dangerous by their sheer presence in 'Meetas' house! #Selfrealization
• I know!! The only thing that keeps me awake at night or ticking in the day is that - 'I don't know!!' #SelfRealilzation
• Watching the leaves fight against the wind and finally give up! #Autumn

Bookmarks

Often when reading a book, we want to pause, sip on coffee or just ponder. Bookmarks were probably invented with a reason. I watch a movie. Then the intermission comes in drawing the part to a logical conclusion. Life is full of such pauses too. Important days - Birthdays, New Years, Anniversaries are all about pausing, breaking our life into parts. I guess these days just don't do it for me. Hence, I am off on a self imposed pause. Call it a vacation, a trip home or just a way to break away from a non-routine to find a way to come back to one.

I know the weeks ahead are full of a lot of pauses, bookmarks and events. Marriages/Birthdays and just re-unions or wasteful days. I have not yet unwound myself in its anticipation. I guess I will just go with the flow and see if I will get back to the book or pick it up years later to find I had left a book mark some time long ago and then flip back a few pages to start again.

Ordinary

I am ordinary...

I want to snuggle in bed when the clock strikes 9. Caffeine brings a rush in my brain that fights sleep for a few more inevitable hours. Music liberates my mind. I converse with several ordinary individuals believing I am leading an extra ordinary life. I connect and yet feel detached. I clean when I have nothing else to do and vent rage via excessive physical exhaustion. I dream of romance, I live reality with a smile. I am homeless. I am my own god - I create and I destroy. I water plants- sometimes in excess or sometimes too scarce. I starve in absolution, I run to re-affirm gravity exists. I write e-mails with typos and I read books to live  stories. I watch movies and cry, I often love the warmth just as much as I am oblivious to the cold. I worship creativity - caricature, musical, strange manifestations of an inner energy of the soul.


Yes I am ordinary, as ordinary as I can be...

November Recap

Had parents over for 3 months and now I walk into an empty house with the cold of December setting in. Went to Winter Wonderland a few times with kids of friends and family. Shopped like crazy for family.

Got some respite over weekend. Travelled to Brussels and have a hectic week lined up. Catching up on a few movies I had missed out

Rockstar
Delhi Belly
Ra.One

More update from London soon. Till then hope you have all had a nice month.

A still from the sunset

There is poetry when the sun sets.

There is poetry in watching a bird fly

When that sky in all its orange nets,

Seems like a painting for the passers by.

There is magic in the cold breeze

There is magic in that grass so green

Thoughts slip in like I am at ease

Love, expression never quite this keen!

No pen, no paper, to jot down the thought

No camera to capture the moment passing by

But I know who, I know what, I sought

In that romantic moment, right below a vast sky!

London - As I see it

This city feels like the epicenter of a cultural volcano. Looks calm at the surface despite the molten, quasi states of a zillion tourists and the strong and lost identities of the immigrants! What constitutes this city? It is hard to describe - Maybe culture, Maybe trade, Maybe the feeling of belonging or the feeling of not finding it my own. For being a lover of art and culture - this feels like 'Mecca'. Today I am settled in and feel like I am beginning to belong. I have managed to watch a few plays, a few concerts, walked down most known streets. I have a list of must do's for myself before I set foot into the wilderness of the globe yet again.

- Watch all my favorite artists perform
- Watch the wicked, phantom of the opera and a few not so advertised but still awesome plays
- Finish up my short course in art direction
- Learn the piano and a few other instruments. Indulge in Music - Classical Forms, Percussion!
- Walk Zone 1 and 2 of London over a weekend!
- Take the night bus more often
- Get as many seats as possible for the London Jazz Festival.

Clicked a few pictures to remember how this journey started! Just like London says - All of you are welcome as long as you are in transit!

About addictions and giving up

I always believed I was born to be the Buddha!:-) Then reality hits me that I am just as human as the 'Hungry Buddha' is for food, or the 'Worldly Buddha' is for material needs. We all as human beings 'need' and constantly fill our lives with shallow but yet relishing fillers such as chocolates, ice creams, relationships, chatter and what not. Some of us come with an additional dimension called determination which can work either in keeping away or leading to 'addiction'.

I admit there are things I wish I could give up but have failed to.
There are people I wish to forget,
There are habits I wish to discard,
There are words I wish to delete from my vocabulary,
There are thoughts I wish that never come by,
However try as much as I do, the mind always attracts the very thoughts and things we are trying to evade.

Hence here I am yet again, determined that tomorrow will be a new day and I renounce! I do know already however that I might have this same conversation, yet again with 'You' my blog tomorrow. Afterall life is about addictions and giving up!

PS: I love chocolates, I enjoy conversations, I crave friends, I am a firm believer of love!

Excessive mind

Have you ever felt like there is just so much you are experiencing and somehow in that moment you do want to capture and share those experiences, but you are troubled with the starting point?

I am stuck today at that exact point, where I know the last few weeks/months have been varied experiences and yet time is ticking by and I don't know where I should begin.

Recent Highlights and days to come!

• Germany - 5 cities (3days Tour)
• Stockholm - a 10 hour airport/flight experience
• Feel like a Londoner now - Got myself a Cineworld pass and watched some crappy movies just to make it worth it.
• Waiting for parents to arrive!
• Discovered some amazing music
• Watched all of 'Big Bang Theory'
• Catching up with 'How I met my mother'
• Missing home!:-(
• Missing A, S, T!
• Looking forward to life in Manchester for a bit
• Feel like I have lost control again and this time I am not even pondering about it.
• Started to cook a whole lot!
• Reading a lot of 'Quantum Physics' again.
• Back to twitter again!

Listening to

'All that you touch
and all that you see
All that you taste
All you feel.
and all that you love
and all that you hate
All you distrust
All you save.
and all that you give
and all that you deal
and all that you buy,
beg, borrow or steal.
and all you create
and all you destroy
and all that you do
and all that you say.
and all that you eat
And everyone you meet
and all that you slight
And everyone you fight.
and all that is now
and all that is gone
and all that's to come
and everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon. '

So true, life is after all the dark side of the moon!

Silence?

Your silence is killing. Your presence in it even more.
Sometimes I wish I went deaf to the silences with incoherent voices of the past.

A new start?

Settled in London, found a house and checked in. Its strange how the process repeats itself all over again every single time when you setup a house and yet there is no short cut. You just have to go through the grill.

I have had interesting times, felt bad about moving continents, leaving an apartment behind and most importantly my friends and family in a time zone 5 hours away. At the same time I am excited about this new phase for it promises a lot of experiences.

• Marked my first day with a run in Regents park. Watched rugby, got wet in the rain and listened to music at my pace in my way and just experienced sheer bliss. I don't know if it was the run or the rain or was the fact that I knew I had established a new rapport with this city, marked my territory in the park with so many joggers, passers by and tourists, but something was monumental about my run today. I made a new memory with a new song and a new story.
• Met interesting people at a friends party and firmly believe that the world is indeed a small place and London even smaller;-) Connections from the past linger by and interesting times are yet to come.
• Learnt to play my first set of chords on the guitar - D, C, G, Am and struggling with my Open F!
• Have a long list of to-buy, an even longer list of to-dos and heck a hectic week ahead.
• Excited that my folks will finally be around and I can show them Europe and hope that the weather is not too harsh.

Looking forward to watching many a concerts and all the plays and learning some art direction. I had promised myself this year would be about re-defining myself and so far I have been at it. Whoever told it would be easy?? I was only told it would be fun!

Whirlpool of fast forwards and rewinds. No time for stills

Lots has happened since I last wrote down a post. Goa, Badami, Cycling expeditions, New Countries, Understanding of physics, Music and sound, More Hindustani music and what not!

Well I thoroughly enjoyed Goa, specially the time spent on the road, bike and with myself traversing the strange hidden spots of this fantastic lovely quaint town that I will definitely go back to. I will go back and write a book or just write blurbs some day. The sea just brings out some hidden thoughts and makes me very quiet and pensive. Cousin time was amazing with all of us just chilling out and relaxing. Life just had 3 motives - eat, drink and be merry!

The next trip was a random one, hot weather and history coupled with Architecture - A subject I secretly enjoyed. I am very fascinated by proportions, expressions and structures. Ancient times were all about civilizations, boundaries and structures that defined cities, strength and boundaries. Today architecture has boiled down to convenience more than art. We are saddled with the limitations of realigning versus building from scratch. I mean years ago people got a structureless earth on a platter (possibly) and ended up crafting their own civilizations. Today we have crafted our cities and towns. However, yet there is a huge expanse of unconquered territory. I got bitten by wasps, stung by bees and scraped by bats. I ate in huts and relished the basic food of a villager, traveled by train and enjoyed fabulous conversations with friends, random connections and extremely learned folks.

I also spent an interesting week with an old friend. We gazed at stars and I realized and remembered how much I loved astronomy. As a child, I would spend long hours, gazing into a clear sky. The street lights were non existent, the eyes curious and I would watch. I would then read. I remember the black book I had which was called "All about space". I then began to go back and read up my basics. One night watching a news flash about the experiment of sending an extremely hi-tech hubble telescope into space to capture light beyond frequency of visible eyes, which lead to the discovery of the cosmic light got my attention. I then spent several nights reading up on the theory of light and its application in understanding the origin of the universe. I realized at a fundamental level the world of researchers was split between nothing and infinite. Two sides of the same coin. Shunya and Infinity - Again something that I had discussed at length over my Badami trip. Seems like am part of the Shunya clan that believes that the universe emerged from nothing vs the other set that believes that the universe always existed as infinite. Anyways the research from this particular experiment and facts I read, alluded to high possibilities that the universe did not in fact start from a dot, but was always and is just expanding.

Astronomy drew me to science and I picked up my old time favorite Mr Feynman. Gosh! is there joy in learning about heat, resistance and social interactions scientifically? I so wish I could go back and learn all over again in an entire new way.

I also realized that at the root of it, I am a very curious person. I was curious about sound and frequencies. I was curious about learning as to how certain wavelengths of light we cannot see but can hear by tuning into our radios. I wanted to understand why certain patterns of notes arouse a certain mood in us. There is of course science to things. I love some musical pieces immensely and never understood why. I then began to pay attention and I realized I truly enjoy music that has certain nuances such as usage of adjacent musical notes for instance. Like in Rag Lalit the usage of M' and M with the G and similarly NiSR' all adjacent produces some sort of amazing twists that my ear enjoys. Similarly there is this strange connection I have with Rag Kalavati. Prabha Atre's rendition is possibly the most amazing one. What a voice and what clarity she has. The effortlessness is awesome just like it is with Ashwini Bhide or Kishori Amonkar. I have learnt a whole lot about sound, music, recording, mixing and spent significant long hours only listening to sounds and variations.

Finally, I am moving, I am moving base for a little bit to London. The move needs a whole new post I know. But I am excited for this is going to be my year of travel. I am extremely weary about letting go. I will miss my friends, my loved ones and my apartment and life back in Bangalore. I have not had the time to write and capture the changes in my life. But I do know this year is fast paced and I am loving it. I have changed very distinctly in the last 1 year. For the first time in my life in years I think I have been extremely happy with myself and my time on my own. I am doing things I love and care for. I am not driven by love or by other people in my life or so I would like to believe. I am finally living for the expressions within me, the music in me that wants to just be allowed to experience itself, the energy in me waiting to do so many things, the nomad in me wanting to explore and experience cities, people and silences. I will update this space more, I will write more, I will watch the stars, I will capture pictures, I will sing more and I will learn a lot more this year. I just know! I wish I can rewind or move ahead and fast forward, but life is a motion picture. I did learn the art to pause and sometimes enjoy the stills!

Of stationary microphones and Annual Days

After long I got a chance to go watch an annual day celebration. Technology has taken over, economic boom is visible in the setup, but the performances remain cute as ever! I was just taken back into memory lane. I studied in a Kendriya Vidyalaya for a significant part of my life (And thank god for that). It really meant, I spent most Saturday's in what was then called - Co-Curricular Activities. These ranged from Debates, Skits, Extempore speeches, Singing, Instrumental, Reading, Poetry Reading and what not. It also meant that most of the week was spent either preparing or in anticipation of this day.

"Annual Day's" meant practice sessions for months. We were never blessed with fancy equipment, digital technology and dances always meant - Live play back singing! I remember working on costumes, stage setup, electrical fittings and even fixing instruments and making our own drum kit.

My first appearances on stage started in LKG. Where I was asked to deliver the "Vote of thanks" on our sports day. God I wonder now why we thanked the world in those speeches. I apparently delivered the speech confidently from behind a podium and was just not visible. Finally the teacher lifted me and put me on a table when people were clapping.

In my 2nd standard I participated in a puppet skit where, real kids pretended to be puppets and I was the lead protagonist called -"Dhanno Bai". I remember I was a nagging wife who kept asking her husband why he did not bring back fish after the long day at work!

Though I loved percussion, I ended up always playing the harmonium for group songs because I could sing and play and also we had a few other percussionists but no other harmonium player. However I always more than made up for it for all group dances where I ruled the bongos! A few popular numbers were:

• "Resham Ka Rumaal- I sang and played"
• A naga dance with all my friends dressed in leaves - "Humba ho Humba", 
• A bihu number:" Jigor Nouton Digon tolai" and more.

Every annual day had boring long speeches at the start, prize distribution ceremonies and then the fun events. There was always a grand finale every year and every year when I heard the applause I did wish, some day I could sit out there in the audience and watch. Watch how our timing was, how the play back sounded or how the lighting worked. Every year, the stage opened with a few hands pulling the curtains and the stage closed...there was energy, enthusiasm and a lot of hard work that came to light between the two. People forgot, performances went bad and yet every time the parents clapped.

Watching the toddlers perform was an amazing experience. Watching the super excited parents even more amusing. Some day I wish I can go back to teaching at school. Some day I wish I can go back to my school and just once more stand on that stage and leave my fears behind!

Insomnia is good afterall

Long day, new city, tiring week and looking forward to a weekend to be spent with special people! The only words that come to my mind:

A flock of sheep that leisurely pass by
One after one; the sound of rain, and bees
Murmuring; the fall of rivers, winds and seas,
Smooth fields, white sheets of water, and pure sky -
I've thought of all by turns, and still I lie
Sleepless...
~William Wordsworth

My Favs

Anyone who knows me....knows the fact that I have the most bizarre and extreme tastes when it comes to music. I also tend to be super obsessed about a song for a phase of my life. I can listen to the same song endlessly on repeat mode for over a month. So I decided it is worthwhile to write down some of my fav songs and also figure out why I did like them when I did


My Top Songs for lyrics:

• Tujhse Naraaz Nahin Zindagi : What a realistic song. It always reminds me of moments when I am angry about life but not really because I have no one to blame! Beautifully crafted and makes so much sense for the context of the movie
• Dashte- Tanhai (Thanks Rads for it): What a piece of Poetry and sung so well by iqbal bano!
• Hothon Se choo lo tum: Love and longing so beautifully expressed
• Koi yeah kaise bataye ki woh tanha kyun hai: I mean sheer poetry!
• Dil Cheez Kya Hai aap meri Jaan Lejiye: Is there a better way to express self renunciation?
• Guncha koi tere naam kar diya: The voice, the situation and the moment just make this a charm
• Save the best for last: I can relate to this at various moments of my life. Maybe my stories are so similar
• Winner takes it all: Have I never felt like a loser?

Phases and Songs:

There are songs associated to phases, people and places in my life.

• Tumse Yun Milenge: Literally reminds me of how I had never expected to meet someone randomly and bond over a song
• All Compositions of Devdas/Dil Chahta hai/Chalte Chalte: My life in mumbai
• Jaadu hai nasha hai: S's car, a bad theater in mumbai!
• Peeloon: Dedicated to the mom and daughter in my  life and several trips where people were subjected to it
• Teri Justajoo: Aah the lunch and screeching in my car with 3 of us singing!
• Crying (Don McLean): A certain someone who introduced me to most passions in my life
• Piya tose naina lage re: The song I was famous for in school!
• Resham Ka (Ila Arun): My sister who thought I sounded like her. The only time she ever complimented my skills in singing.
• Reason (hoobstank): Chicago
• Believe (Cher): My detriot trip
• Take Five: Can always listen to it and drum along

The list is actually endless....

Songs and music always fill my life and I am known to like the crazy "Sadnaal karle party" type songs to Jazz to Indian and western classical. I know I am kicked and most happy with my iPOD when running, cycling, walking or just driving to work in my car! I always wondered, if I was to lose one of my senses which one would kill me...I am yet to figure who wins between my ears (For I love music), My sense of smell (I cannot not smell) or my speech! (it is so hard to not speak!). There are a thousand more which have not got a mention today. But someday I will compose a list of 100 fav songs! Someday I will!

Foggy Mists and Moony Nights

Had been a crazy hectic week with loads of work, compulsive socializing and a pang to stay fit again!
Eventually Friday was here...After a nice social evening, got back and decided to burn out the vodka in a run. It was cold and yet I felt warm under the moon. My mind was just waiting to be lost in my pace and listening to music. As I paced up, I just had to stop. The moon looked beautiful! I continued to listen to my music and run along till A came down and we walked, talked and walked some more. She called it a day and I was energized. We left debating about my tastes in music, my fascinations and whatever else. Went up to her place and ended up listening to Carnatic Recitals, some new Hindustani ones and yet I am not a convert.


***Digressing
Was telling her a story about my fascination for Hindustani as opposed to Carnatic. When I was young, my harmonium teacher would teach us the notes and scales as per the Carnatic Style. One day I went up to him and said "I don't like this style, I want to learn Hindustani." He asked me - "Why" ? I remember replying -" Because I am hindu". Since then started my fascination for this genre over Carnatic. When I thought out aloud, I realized in general I think it is the overbearing mridangam kind of beats that dissuade me away from Carnatic. I love the tabla. Infact I think it is one of the most elegant of all percussion instruments. I love hindustani vocals over instrumental. I prefer fast paced raags and I guess I am yet to listen to something in the Carnatic camp that will have me lured. Or maybe I have to really wait for someone out there who will drive me to it!
**end of digression

Anyways chatted until late, came back and played on my tabla and forced myself to sleep. Set my alarm to 5 and woke up lazily and walked out to my balcony. It was extremely foggy, cold and beautiful! The sun was about to rise and all you could see was a glimpse of the moon fading by. Went back to sleep and woke up an hour later and cycled away. Saw some of the most beautiful places and wished my camera was alright. I wish I also had more time to just go on and explore some of the roads that lead outside of Bangalore. Came back ate at a bakery and finally went back to my gym only to be told that it is a bandh afterall.

Cycling is the best thing to have happened to me in the recent times. There is joy in the mornings and in finding trails and discovering beauty. I love the foggy mists and the moony nights.