I want to break free

Its one of those days when I don't want to think. I want to sing. I want to tap my fingers. I want to just feel the fresh air, the light and the flesh inside of me. I want be free of my ties, my thoughts, my mails, my texts, my books, my computer and wander about. I want to just be one with those notes that I sing! I want to be lost in those beats that I hear even when nothing is playing. I want to possibly just empty myself of everything inside of me and fill myself with possibly what matters the most – peace??freedom? or nothing?

I exist

If you are pre-occupied with life and death then you aren't ready for heaven. 

--Anonymous


Well well I am not sure what I am pre-occupied and busy with. But work is a good excuse, thoughts not so much!! I am assured the quality of my life needs to get better, I am just struggling with the fixes!  So much has happened and yet nothing significant to recount. I strive to keep up with a few updates. Assuming someone will some day be interested in this all. 


Amidst the busy days I yet find time to dream!! My life is heaven!  
-- Me

Nothing profound - really!

You are ethereal, fluid and true.
With the daft wind you flutter away.
In the shining sun, you glitter and sway!
When it pours, darkness seems true.
I am not, if not for you!

It was a pleasant day. I cannot recall when it began. I do remember it did at some point. I opened my eyes and saw the moon lurking - big. I slept some more, tried to dream even and finally woke up to a sunny morning. I have come to realize that I am fairly empty but light. I probably have not much to say that has not been said. It may just be easier to remain silent and absorb for a while.

On a side note, I wonder if we are all here by design or is this chaos?? Who cares, it has been a good week and no profound thoughts have made way.

Ordinary

I am ordinary...

I want to snuggle in bed when the clock strikes 9. Caffeine brings a rush in my brain that fights sleep for a few more inevitable hours. Music liberates my mind. I converse with several ordinary individuals believing I am leading an extra ordinary life. I connect and yet feel detached. I clean when I have nothing else to do and vent rage via excessive physical exhaustion. I dream of romance, I live reality with a smile. I am homeless. I am my own god - I create and I destroy. I water plants- sometimes in excess or sometimes too scarce. I starve in absolution, I run to re-affirm gravity exists. I write e-mails with typos and I read books to live  stories. I watch movies and cry, I often love the warmth just as much as I am oblivious to the cold. I worship creativity - caricature, musical, strange manifestations of an inner energy of the soul.


Yes I am ordinary, as ordinary as I can be...

High-School Romances

There is something amazingly beautiful about high school love stories. They are so true, young, fresh and innocent. People are young, impressionable and mostly in-experienced and completely open to experiences. There are no older memories tarnishing the experience, there are no experiences dissuading you. There is only a high level of expectation, the joy of discovering the unknown and mostly an earnest hope that it will be magical.

The first kiss, the joys of watching, waiting, exchanging notes, buying cards, are all things one just never experiences again. The good thing about that age is that you actually change together and hence in those formative years, who you are with plays a very important role. You try to become the person the other appreciates, you try to like the music the other one listens to, you read similar books, and finally you paint pictures of the future and plan your life. Of course how life turns out years later, just makes you go back and wonder or smile. But the truth is those experiences never come back again. With each new relationship, you probably lose a part of yourself, you find new things about yourself and you swear you will not do what you did earlier ever again. However, this is life and we all change from being vulnerable and romantic to being practical and cynical at times. However, a lucky few probably end up with their high school love or still feel high-school like, despite years of trying. What is important is to hope that everyone experienced the magic and that hopefully the magic has had an effect on them that they are carrying for life!

She walked in and he just knew, 
Something was amiss and he felt something new.
He shared his anxiety not with her but his friend.
The one who delivered to her all messages he would send.


Soon they got talking, but he never let her know.
She walked in one day saying there was something she had to show :-)
She moved close and brushed her lips quickly against his cheek,
His heart skipped a beat and his knees went all weak!


They spent time together and stole glances in class.
They were a couple and stood out during morning mass!
They had sweet names for each other, they would call.
They composed poetry and that was not all.


Breaking-Making, Philosophy and rock!
Spending time waiting or staring into a clock!
One day without a warning or even a bolt,
Time had come when their love was about to jolt!


They had to move on and make choices new.
Leave things behind and they hadn't a clue!
We plan life, we dream, we wish we can hold tight.
But destiny and time often bring on a fight!


Boy meets girl and girl meets boy,
The story of many and a promise to joy
Some stories end with the same one at last!
Some stories just leave us with memories of a lovely past.

** Inspired whilst watching that 70's show. Apologies for poetry with rhymes - the kind I would have composed back in high school:-)

A new start?

Settled in London, found a house and checked in. Its strange how the process repeats itself all over again every single time when you setup a house and yet there is no short cut. You just have to go through the grill.

I have had interesting times, felt bad about moving continents, leaving an apartment behind and most importantly my friends and family in a time zone 5 hours away. At the same time I am excited about this new phase for it promises a lot of experiences.

• Marked my first day with a run in Regents park. Watched rugby, got wet in the rain and listened to music at my pace in my way and just experienced sheer bliss. I don't know if it was the run or the rain or was the fact that I knew I had established a new rapport with this city, marked my territory in the park with so many joggers, passers by and tourists, but something was monumental about my run today. I made a new memory with a new song and a new story.
• Met interesting people at a friends party and firmly believe that the world is indeed a small place and London even smaller;-) Connections from the past linger by and interesting times are yet to come.
• Learnt to play my first set of chords on the guitar - D, C, G, Am and struggling with my Open F!
• Have a long list of to-buy, an even longer list of to-dos and heck a hectic week ahead.
• Excited that my folks will finally be around and I can show them Europe and hope that the weather is not too harsh.

Looking forward to watching many a concerts and all the plays and learning some art direction. I had promised myself this year would be about re-defining myself and so far I have been at it. Whoever told it would be easy?? I was only told it would be fun!

Whirlpool of fast forwards and rewinds. No time for stills

Lots has happened since I last wrote down a post. Goa, Badami, Cycling expeditions, New Countries, Understanding of physics, Music and sound, More Hindustani music and what not!

Well I thoroughly enjoyed Goa, specially the time spent on the road, bike and with myself traversing the strange hidden spots of this fantastic lovely quaint town that I will definitely go back to. I will go back and write a book or just write blurbs some day. The sea just brings out some hidden thoughts and makes me very quiet and pensive. Cousin time was amazing with all of us just chilling out and relaxing. Life just had 3 motives - eat, drink and be merry!

The next trip was a random one, hot weather and history coupled with Architecture - A subject I secretly enjoyed. I am very fascinated by proportions, expressions and structures. Ancient times were all about civilizations, boundaries and structures that defined cities, strength and boundaries. Today architecture has boiled down to convenience more than art. We are saddled with the limitations of realigning versus building from scratch. I mean years ago people got a structureless earth on a platter (possibly) and ended up crafting their own civilizations. Today we have crafted our cities and towns. However, yet there is a huge expanse of unconquered territory. I got bitten by wasps, stung by bees and scraped by bats. I ate in huts and relished the basic food of a villager, traveled by train and enjoyed fabulous conversations with friends, random connections and extremely learned folks.

I also spent an interesting week with an old friend. We gazed at stars and I realized and remembered how much I loved astronomy. As a child, I would spend long hours, gazing into a clear sky. The street lights were non existent, the eyes curious and I would watch. I would then read. I remember the black book I had which was called "All about space". I then began to go back and read up my basics. One night watching a news flash about the experiment of sending an extremely hi-tech hubble telescope into space to capture light beyond frequency of visible eyes, which lead to the discovery of the cosmic light got my attention. I then spent several nights reading up on the theory of light and its application in understanding the origin of the universe. I realized at a fundamental level the world of researchers was split between nothing and infinite. Two sides of the same coin. Shunya and Infinity - Again something that I had discussed at length over my Badami trip. Seems like am part of the Shunya clan that believes that the universe emerged from nothing vs the other set that believes that the universe always existed as infinite. Anyways the research from this particular experiment and facts I read, alluded to high possibilities that the universe did not in fact start from a dot, but was always and is just expanding.

Astronomy drew me to science and I picked up my old time favorite Mr Feynman. Gosh! is there joy in learning about heat, resistance and social interactions scientifically? I so wish I could go back and learn all over again in an entire new way.

I also realized that at the root of it, I am a very curious person. I was curious about sound and frequencies. I was curious about learning as to how certain wavelengths of light we cannot see but can hear by tuning into our radios. I wanted to understand why certain patterns of notes arouse a certain mood in us. There is of course science to things. I love some musical pieces immensely and never understood why. I then began to pay attention and I realized I truly enjoy music that has certain nuances such as usage of adjacent musical notes for instance. Like in Rag Lalit the usage of M' and M with the G and similarly NiSR' all adjacent produces some sort of amazing twists that my ear enjoys. Similarly there is this strange connection I have with Rag Kalavati. Prabha Atre's rendition is possibly the most amazing one. What a voice and what clarity she has. The effortlessness is awesome just like it is with Ashwini Bhide or Kishori Amonkar. I have learnt a whole lot about sound, music, recording, mixing and spent significant long hours only listening to sounds and variations.

Finally, I am moving, I am moving base for a little bit to London. The move needs a whole new post I know. But I am excited for this is going to be my year of travel. I am extremely weary about letting go. I will miss my friends, my loved ones and my apartment and life back in Bangalore. I have not had the time to write and capture the changes in my life. But I do know this year is fast paced and I am loving it. I have changed very distinctly in the last 1 year. For the first time in my life in years I think I have been extremely happy with myself and my time on my own. I am doing things I love and care for. I am not driven by love or by other people in my life or so I would like to believe. I am finally living for the expressions within me, the music in me that wants to just be allowed to experience itself, the energy in me waiting to do so many things, the nomad in me wanting to explore and experience cities, people and silences. I will update this space more, I will write more, I will watch the stars, I will capture pictures, I will sing more and I will learn a lot more this year. I just know! I wish I can rewind or move ahead and fast forward, but life is a motion picture. I did learn the art to pause and sometimes enjoy the stills!

Untitled!

There are twisted spaces and there are thoughts galore! Images, imagination, reality, words all casting disconnected impressions. There are zones of black dangerously lurking around; showing up in random colours. Tame it, let it be or decipher the patterns. Win over or succumb, choices sometimes are never yours! Mystery, memory, desire and fixed ways; all emerge and converge in a whirl out here. You know I can never describe you in totality or even make sense if I say it in parts!

Time...

Some times I find it hard to get past a few hours. Sometimes there is just so much to do! Despite the fact that time is ticking by and our experiences get summed up over its axis, I wonder if there is any other dimension that controls our lives as much? A lot of people find it hard to find time and yet  I know some that are literally whiling it in my view. Though I claimed that I am unable to strike a balance with contradictions to my personality, I think I have in a lot of ways managed to strike a balance and mostly find time for things that I care about.

People, Music, Work, Experimenting with everything in life, Art, Fitness and myself! 

I seldom find 24 hours too little and maybe it is because I do not value sleep as much. Or maybe it is because in everything I do, I try and find passion and joy! Some people tell me it is probably because I am a free bird not responsible for any other life or lives. But come on, aren't we all free or bound by our own making? Anyways, I am glad I have struck a balance, despite the corporate life that binds a lot of us and mostly it is also thanks to people around me that make this time killing a joy ride!

Striving to strike a balance

I have been bothered by my inability to strike a balance! I wish I could just think less, ponder less, care less and be brutal at times. I have such random sides to myself that I sometimes wonder how one personality exists with all these dichotomies! I want to be blunt, but I end up being polite. I want to let go, I force myself to hold on. I want to give up and yet I work hard. I want to stay fit and yet I succumb to temptations! I want to be quiet and yet I speak! I wanted to just figure this out in my head and yet here I am writing a blog!

Sense and Sensibility

I was told I mostly do not make sense. I started my evening understanding the phrase "sense". A dictionary probably describes it as "sound practical intelligence, something reasonable" 

I began to analyze my course of thoughts, speech and action and realized that they are indeed at times very dis-jointed. I realized there is another precursor to the whole thing -"ability to hear". So this is how I guess I function.

• Hear something(aah the idea is seeded).
• Process what you believed you heard (idea triggers context, starts to lead into other ideas)
• think a zillion threads (story starts to weave in my head)
• respond (continue to add dimensions to the story)
• Act !(by now the idea has turned into a beast!) 
• The other end thinks ---> (does not make sense!!!)

So a lot of this has to do with how much you tame your mind from thinking. Assuming you cant control that, you end up needing to control your responses in which case.  Imagination I tell you is a devious thing. But this thought process apart, I really do not use my imagination on a normal day around every normal thing happening around me. I probably use it when I need to.  And yet so often I am told, I do not make sense!

Maybe here is what could happen

X:  Do you have money on you?

Me: Heard it as - I need money (assumptions, bad ears whatever!)

Me Processing: 
Why would someone need money and has bothered asking me? 
Maybe X needs food, maybe X needs to pay someone who is standing right there, 
Maybe X needs to buy new clothes, Maybe ..maybe maybe

Me responds: Do you need clothes??

X concludes: Does not make sense. All I wanted to know is if you have money to get back home yourself!

Me (action): Pull out my wallet and car to take X shopping!

Phew! Again this is a figment of my imagination. I am very sure I do not come across this ways on most serious occasions. I am also incapable of doing the above for trivial things!:-) But heck I am also told I am entertaining and most weird. I wonder why that does not sound like a compliment! All I know is that I am of course a fan of intellect and intelligent people. I would degenerate the day intelligent people cease to exist around me. However, there is a joy in being able to talk to folks at any level in the value chain, only because I cannot fill my life with silences at large. I do love fiction and run my imagination wild because I guess I was given a mind that is not still. I am just reminded of a quote I once read - Truth has to be strange. Fiction though should make sense! (or something like that).

My sensibility tells me, it is time to stop writing this post and I shall obey! I must not be making any sense I know.

Aah! I am what I am!

Easy weekend, lunches, work out and sleep!
Work, work some more work and grey cells put to weep!

Albeit, nostalgia did me some good and I have finally realized just exactly how I feel! For a change I don't want to change that because then it wont be mee!

As Audioslave says:

To be yourself is all that you can do

Don't lose any sleep tonight
I'm sure everything will end up alright
You may win or lose

But to be yourself is all that you can do, yeah
To be yourself is all that you can do 

Watched a few movies too - 99, 12 Angry men (again), About Schmidt and a few more!


I read somewhere that apparently the stars are mis-aligned and we all now need to re-adjust our star signs! Maybe that is really what happened a month ago leading to all the confusion around the world. I feel like a passionate Scorp again! Maybe its all falling back in place!:-)

Archives

Cleaning up a computer disk these days is almost like cleaning up closets during my childhood. One always found lost money, treasure, notes, gifts, collections and for a brief moment one was taken back in time. I realized I write a lot, I just don't post enough. I think the best way to tame my mind is to get it to write. So on my disk I found fragments of my life all scattered in text files. Just picking up a few and posting them here. Hope you are all having a lovely year. I need to get back and write to the real world I know!

Connections

Are my words making any sense?

Do you just sit back read and smirk?

Or cast that look like you knew it all

Or do you just wonder if u can live with this for now?

Or maybe you just want to close doors,You just may not know how and when

Or maybe this is a nice muse that gets u past your day

or is there something else I cant see and you cant see

Not right now and maybe we will together?

Tanhaai

Raat ki chaadar odhe hue. Tanhai ki jhalak dikhaai di.

Kkarvat badlee tho tumhaari saans chu si gayee...

Aur tanhaal ki numaishi dekh chand chip sa gaya!

Izaazat

Izaazat chahti hun khud se sumjhaata karne ki.

khud se dosti karne ki.

waqt ke saath aur umeedon se pare chalne ki.

shaayad talaash ko khatm karne ki.

Yun toh saath rahungee sada, 

Is talaash mai banti hui paaoon kabhee tho us pal ki izaazat chahtee hun.

Anjaane mai khamosh ho kuch bolun jo tum sunna na chaho...tho us gustaakh ki izaazat chahti hun.

Is izazat maangne ki khata karne ki izazat chahti hun..

Found two poems from the movie Udaan which I loved:

Udaan

Jo lehron se aage nazar dekh paati toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon,

Wo aawaz tumko bhi jo bhed jaati toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon.

Zid ka tumhare jo parda sarakta toh khidkiyon se aage bhi tum dekh paate,

Aankhon se aadaton ki jo palken hatate toh tum jaan lete main kya sochta hoon.

Meri tarah khud par hota zara bharosa toh kuchh door tum bhi saath-saath aate,

Rang meri aankhon ka baant-te zara sa toh kuchh door tum bhi saath-saath aate,

Nasha aasmaan ka jo choomta tumhe bhi, hasraten tumhari naya janm paatin,

Khud doosre janam mein meri udaan chhoone kuchh door tum bhi saath-saath aate.

Joote

Chhoti-chhoti chhitrayi yaadein

Bichhi hui hain lamhon ki lawn par

Nange pair unpar chalte-chalte

Itni door chale aaye

Ki ab bhool gaye hain ki

Joote kahan utaare the.

Aedi komal thi, jab aaye the.

Thodi si naazuk hai abhi bhi.

Aur nazuk hi rahegi

In khatti-meethi yaadon ki shararat

Jab tak inhe gudgudati rahe.

Sach, bhool gaye hain

Ki joote kahan utaare the.

Par lagta hai,

Ab unki zaroorat nahin.

Thats it from the treasure of archives for now.

Another year gone by! - 2010

Every time around this time of the year, I get into a cocoon of sorts. I wish I can just snuggle in a corner, be with myself and think, feel, write and say nothing. Years, days and life is about the following and my summary goes:

People, faces and corridor clashes!

This year was special because of people. I met a whole lot of friends, special connections, random strangers and my past circle. It was amazing to re-bond with my best friend from childhood and realize how special some bonds really are. My leisurely meetings with my best friends made me ponder about moving to the US as it felt like home and I was reminded again about the importance of having people you can talk to or say nothing to around you. I also realized Cancerians are comfort zone for me. I did have the best Sulaimani teas and diwali celebrations with the special cancerians in my life. I also realized my day is incomplete without the sun rising and shining. I always do love the "dhoop chaanv" it plays with me but heck it is a part of my day. The end of the year was so so full of connections from my past - Schools, Colleges, Randomness, Infatuations, Foes all coming together taking me back in time and re-looking at every one in a complete new way.

The year was about kids in a large way. I so love all of the kids I have baby sat, played with, even fought with or taught drumming to. I cannot imagine how life would really be without these wonders. And then of course there is family, extended family (which I saw lesser of), friends who are family and family friends.

There are other bonds I shared, undefined, short lived, exciting. All amazing, fitting into my spaces and not crowding my head. I learnt to appreciate the moon just as I learnt to live in darkness. However, the most special thing about this year really was not how much I held onto, but really- How much I let go off!

Airplanes, Places and Casinos!

Places always play a significant part of my year given the amount I travel. However the places that I made a bond with for different reasons are:Chicago, Bay Area, Dilli, White Field , Portland, and my apartment:-d I do seek to travel again this year, hopefully not for work but for pleasure or both. Benaras, Mumbai and a few other places are on my list for sure.

Aah and then the daily rut!

The highlight of the year was that I did actually lose a lot of weight without a resolution at the start of the year. There are activities I got back to or started anew - Running, Cycling, Swimming, Fitness! Green tea, Music, Movies! I also lost sight of a few things like - Play watching and reading. I really wish, I read more and watched all the plays that did come by. Adventure, socializing, Cultural activities at home and watching a music concert of someone I know was the essence of my year in terms of events! I did feature on Page 3 and partied a lot lot more this year.

The material world!

This year I bought a lot of my musical instruments (Drums, Keyboard, Tabla, Dholak etc etc), gadgets such as the iPAD. I upgraded my apartment marginally with some art work. I also wish I had fixed my camera and taken many more pictures at times on my adventure trails. I also bought a bicylce and intend to buy a new car. I guess the highlight though was the perfume purchase which taught me how money can actually buy happiness in a desolate airport on a lonely birthday. I also plan on buying the Calvin and ACK (Amar Chitra Katha) collection amongst many other things in the coming year.

Blink Blink!

And finally the year is always about the thinking, feeling and blanks that make it all work in your head and heart. I am glad I had long debates and days of silences and blanks. But mostly I know I have learnt a few things, I am content and I am fitter this year! Of course I am never completely happy about the time that has gone by. But again life is never perfect and we have to find our way of being passionate and driven every day of our life - Be it for money, a song on the iPOD or a glimpse of someone. I do find my drive - every day or at least on most days.

New lessons:

• Being concise is a good thing. People dont value your thoughts much otherwise.
• If you really really want something it will happen. At its own pace, in its own way, but it does happen.
• Being patient is frustrating but rewarding!
• All people you invest in, do end up finding a way into your life. Its always a question of time and letting them be and accepting.
• It helps to assume people change over time and life never starts from the same point when you meet people after ages.
• Music in the 80's and 90's rocked.
• I am a people person after all:-) Sometimes the people are silences and spaces.
• I am not looking for anything in particular, really!
• I have learned to be far more accepting this year of things and people.

I am glad for a year has gone by and I have not struggled to pen down what it was about, though words are never enough. I do wish all of you a lovely year ahead. I do sign off with the hope that I do not bore any more people with such boring posts this year around.

Of longing and life!

Longing they say rouses desire
Owning the art of possession.
Dreaming creates realities you long for.
Knowing always leads to doubt!

It is not enough to long or own
Dream or know!
It is "dealing with" that after all defines
One life from another.

I guess I ramble on with each day. Something that struck my mind today is a quote I read:

Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.
-- Benjamin Franklin

Laws of attraction? Or rules of faith!

Rules they say are rules. When a bunch of intellectuals delve deep into them, contemplate and after years of analysis ratify a rule, it might just turn into law. Someone told me, we are a society which needs a construct, a boundary to actually co-exist. So in some ways the construct and the boundary are imposing on our choices. So are we existing within a bunch of rules or do we just live in the confines of law? In someways it is an anti-thesis of freedom. Somehow the world and statistics seem to rule our lives. Majority individuals agree to one way and that becomes a norm, slowly it becomes an unwritten rule and soon it will become law. Can I be different from the rest of the world? Yes apparently, only if there is no law that I cant be different. I wonder if Buddhism started against law or if Nirvana was a way of accepting laws without question or conforming without question because after all one would be outside of that sphere of influence in their minds at least!

Anyways all I know is that I am glad law makers are not breaking their heads right now about how many blogs I can or cannot type today or actually determining when is a good time to get home. Though they have made it harder for most of us to stay out later in the night. I know law in Mumbai of some sort said people cant hold hands and sit on Marine drive. Was that a rule or a law or just the policeman's point of view I wonder. For now, I know that law or otherwise, I stand for freewill, a free mind and freedom. Of course the assumption I make is that freedom of self does not deter freedom of another. The biggest flaw of my theory I guess. I did break a law today and jumped a red signal. But I also did not rule out the possibility of being fined for it. I did tell myself I shall not do so again! Sometimes one can stand for the right and be left behind! Or one might leave and just be right about it. I am not a quitter or an abider or a law breaker. I am just figuring out with each day, how life should be led and my life this far makes me head towards my next choice or next idea in my head about how my day should be. For all those of you who make laws and rules, I think its a lot of hardwork! Do work hard, whilst I hope to catch some sleep.

Passion not fashion!

Is passion a good thing? I always wondered. It drains a lot of thought, seeks a lot of focus and most importantly just makes stuff mean a whole lot. Some people get past life without intensity. They are the ones who can re-adjust, re-focus, change and possibly cope with life better. The intense ones always seek a lot more, finding it harder to let go and adapt to change. The experience! some might argue is what life is about. But at the end of it- sometimes I wonder, is it really? I mean what if life was finally an end result and some get exactly there with less work?

All of this comes to my mind because maybe today I am at crossroads between passion and passion (really) again! I wonder if it is time I even give myself another choice or do I just succumb and accept this is me! Though I know, I can let go, I know I can move on, but the moment is what does it for me! It has to be true, complete and passionate! So is there really hope for me or will I need an energy drink at the end of life for how tiring it might have been?

Dark Temptations

Chocolates they say are best dark!
Sometimes minty!
Wrapped like temptation,
Waiting to lure...

There you are sitting at the cafe
Reading a book, texting, sipping on coffee
Wondering? Maybe about why iguanas are they way they are!
Or contemplating how the next hour would go past.

The dark temptation catches your eye
Wondering if it would pine and lie covered.
Or will it today unwrap and melt to be one with you!
You look, wink, reach out and seem distracted and text again!

The feeling of being held is amazing
The wait daunting.
Pressed to reply, you put it down.
Slowly you start to unwrap the indulgence.

You nibble, savor, continue to seek the music
It takes a moment to revel the taste
It takes a moment for it to begin to melt
You read, look at your phone and just continue to wonder

Over many such wraps and unwraps, you get to the last bite
The delight knows not, how many expressions you displayed!
The last of it is left wondering..."Did you love it?
Now that I am one with you, I wonder....

Would you be tempted if it was just me?
Or would it take a book, the cafe, the music,
the romance, the texts, the iguanas
To all come together and get me to melt in you?"

Oh well temptation will never know and the tempted will savor the chocolate as dark as it may seem!

When flights are long

Its a long journey....
My fingers are crossed:-d
My mind half shut!
Eyes blind but open.

I play my music to shut me off.
And yet time inches slowly...
Is this about faith or learning to let go?
I know i have to wait and then i ll know.

This time it seemed the door did not shut
Before i arrived,
I believe! And yet skeptical I am
Willing to be lured by surprises and unmoved by destiny.

Have you ever felt like life can be paused, the world can go by.
Or you can run and the world stands still. And yet it would not make a difference.
That is when like Buddha says: "Maybe we come to terms with the fact that we are alone after all; and the world a trajectory for several individual trespassers"

Tagged about 20 before 40!

Tagging is the most horrendous way people can demonstrate their friendship. Tagging people on notes, acceptable. Tagging people in random event invites, acceptable. Tagging ugly boring photographs of yours from yester years!!?? Like hello! Just not done! However tagging people and nagging them to blog is kinda bearable.

So here I am tagged to write 20 things I would want to do before I am 40. I mean for gods sakes, I can't really imagine that I am talking 40 already!! Yikes!!


So here goes

001: Invent a device that prevents aging!
002: Buy an SUV and drive across the country in it
003: Learn DJ'ing and perform in a night club
004: Drum, drum and drum!
005: Break free from my job and do my own thing
006: Spend a few months in Paris
007: Fall insanely in love and not worry about how it will turn out! (Phew I have been doing that all my life) Maybe its time to change the pattern!
008: Get a tattoo!
009: Lose just a lil more weight and run a marathon
010: Direct a movie or a play!
011: Meet SRK!:-d
012: Take a trip to Mumbai with a friend of mine!:-p Friend are you listening??
013: Visit a lot of my fav places with interesting company - Greece, Egypt, Rome even!
014: Go learn the local African drums in Kenya
015: Build a large natural aquarium
016: Listen to some amazing musical concerts around the world
017: Write my book
018: Buy myself the entire Calvin & Hobbes collection
019: Open a perfume factory
020: Spend a whole lot of crazy time with interesting, diverse sets of people and just have a great time in life!

I guess none of these 20 might get ticked off...so adding one more:

Follow this blog up with a few more!