Saturday, January 01, 2011

Another year gone by! - 2010

Every time around this time of the year, I get into a cocoon of sorts. I wish I can just snuggle in a corner, be with myself and think, feel, write and say nothing. Years, days and life is about the following and my summary goes:

People, faces and corridor clashes!

This year was special because of people. I met a whole lot of friends, special connections, random strangers and my past circle. It was amazing to re-bond with my best friend from childhood and realize how special some bonds really are. My leisurely meetings with my best friends made me ponder about moving to the US as it felt like home and I was reminded again about the importance of having people you can talk to or say nothing to around you. I also realized Cancerians are comfort zone for me. I did have the best Sulaimani teas and diwali celebrations with the special cancerians in my life. I also realized my day is incomplete without the sun rising and shining. I always do love the "dhoop chaanv" it plays with me but heck it is a part of my day. The end of the year was so so full of connections from my past - Schools, Colleges, Randomness, Infatuations, Foes all coming together taking me back in time and re-looking at every one in a complete new way.

The year was about kids in a large way. I so love all of the kids I have baby sat, played with, even fought with or taught drumming to. I cannot imagine how life would really be without these wonders. And then of course there is family, extended family (which I saw lesser of), friends who are family and family friends.

There are other bonds I shared, undefined, short lived, exciting. All amazing, fitting into my spaces and not crowding my head. I learnt to appreciate the moon just as I learnt to live in darkness. However, the most special thing about this year really was not how much I held onto, but really- How much I let go off!

Airplanes, Places and Casinos!

Places always play a significant part of my year given the amount I travel. However the places that I made a bond with for different reasons are:Chicago, Bay Area, Dilli, White Field , Portland, and my apartment:-d I do seek to travel again this year, hopefully not for work but for pleasure or both. Benaras, Mumbai and a few other places are on my list for sure.

Aah and then the daily rut!

The highlight of the year was that I did actually lose a lot of weight without a resolution at the start of the year. There are activities I got back to or started anew - Running, Cycling, Swimming, Fitness! Green tea, Music, Movies! I also lost sight of a few things like - Play watching and reading. I really wish, I read more and watched all the plays that did come by. Adventure, socializing, Cultural activities at home and watching a music concert of someone I know was the essence of my year in terms of events! I did feature on Page 3 and partied a lot lot more this year.

The material world!

This year I bought a lot of my musical instruments (Drums, Keyboard, Tabla, Dholak etc etc), gadgets such as the iPAD. I upgraded my apartment marginally with some art work. I also wish I had fixed my camera and taken many more pictures at times on my adventure trails. I also bought a bicylce and intend to buy a new car. I guess the highlight though was the perfume purchase which taught me how money can actually buy happiness in a desolate airport on a lonely birthday. I also plan on buying the Calvin and ACK (Amar Chitra Katha) collection amongst many other things in the coming year.

Blink Blink!

And finally the year is always about the thinking, feeling and blanks that make it all work in your head and heart. I am glad I had long debates and days of silences and blanks. But mostly I know I have learnt a few things, I am content and I am fitter this year! Of course I am never completely happy about the time that has gone by. But again life is never perfect and we have to find our way of being passionate and driven every day of our life - Be it for money, a song on the iPOD or a glimpse of someone. I do find my drive - every day or at least on most days.

New lessons:

  • Being concise is a good thing. People dont value your thoughts much otherwise.
  • If you really really want something it will happen. At its own pace, in its own way, but it does happen.
  • Being patient is frustrating but rewarding!
  • All people you invest in, do end up finding a way into your life. Its always a question of time and letting them be and accepting.
  • It helps to assume people change over time and life never starts from the same point when you meet people after ages.
  • Music in the 80's and 90's rocked.
  • I am a people person after all:-) Sometimes the people are silences and spaces.
  • I am not looking for anything in particular, really!
  • I have learned to be far more accepting this year of things and people.


I am glad for a year has gone by and I have not struggled to pen down what it was about, though words are never enough. I do wish all of you a lovely year ahead. I do sign off with the hope that I do not bore any more people with such boring posts this year around.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

And then it dawned!

I looked at those sinful eyes!
I knew it was not them but me that wanted to be led.
There is a charm in seeing you tease.
Just as there is beauty in how you can lose yourself
I have never seen anyone be "one" as you did with your love
That moment made me empty and complete
It was that moment that hit me!
Alluding to what possibilities exist
I knew then, what I was missing all this while!

Of longing and life!

Longing they say rouses desire
Owning the art of possession.
Dreaming creates realities you long for.
Knowing always leads to doubt!

It is not enough to long or own
Dream or know!
It is "dealing with" that after all defines
One life from another.

I guess I ramble on with each day. Something that struck my mind today is a quote I read:

Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.
-- Benjamin Franklin

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Laws of attraction? Or rules of faith!

Rules they say are rules. When a bunch of intellectuals delve deep into them, contemplate and after years of analysis ratify a rule, it might just turn into law. Someone told me, we are a society which needs a construct, a boundary to actually co-exist. So in some ways the construct and the boundary are imposing on our choices. So are we existing within a bunch of rules or do we just live in the confines of law? In someways it is an anti-thesis of freedom. Somehow the world and statistics seem to rule our lives. Majority individuals agree to one way and that becomes a norm, slowly it becomes an unwritten rule and soon it will become law. Can I be different from the rest of the world? Yes apparently, only if there is no law that I cant be different. I wonder if Buddhism started against law or if Nirvana was a way of accepting laws without question or conforming without question because after all one would be outside of that sphere of influence in their minds at least!

Anyways all I know is that I am glad law makers are not breaking their heads right now about how many blogs I can or cannot type today or actually determining when is a good time to get home. Though they have made it harder for most of us to stay out later in the night. I know law in Mumbai of some sort said people cant hold hands and sit on Marine drive. Was that a rule or a law or just the policeman's point of view I wonder. For now, I know that law or otherwise, I stand for freewill, a free mind and freedom. Of course the assumption I make is that freedom of self does not deter freedom of another. The biggest flaw of my theory I guess. I did break a law today and jumped a red signal. But I also did not rule out the possibility of being fined for it. I did tell myself I shall not do so again! Sometimes one can stand for the right and be left behind! Or one might leave and just be right about it. I am not a quitter or an abider or a law breaker. I am just figuring out with each day, how life should be led and my life this far makes me head towards my next choice or next idea in my head about how my day should be. For all those of you who make laws and rules, I think its a lot of hardwork! Do work hard, whilst I hope to catch some sleep.