I want to break free

Its one of those days when I don't want to think. I want to sing. I want to tap my fingers. I want to just feel the fresh air, the light and the flesh inside of me. I want be free of my ties, my thoughts, my mails, my texts, my books, my computer and wander about. I want to just be one with those notes that I sing! I want to be lost in those beats that I hear even when nothing is playing. I want to possibly just empty myself of everything inside of me and fill myself with possibly what matters the most – peace??freedom? or nothing?

Big Ben

Not a long time ago, I lived in Bangalore. Its actually been 2 whole years since I have moved countries, moved homes and started on what almost seems like a whole new life. The premise of this life was based on leaving a lot behind. Funnily, after 2 years of finding myself in a new place I realized - there is a lot I have found, a lot I have lost and a lot is yet to be explored.

I have truly learned to let go - how else can one make a fresh start. I have learned to detach and reattach. I have discovered music which is probably the most important aspect of my life today. I love London - like I love any city I live in. I love the streets/trains/experiences/big ben/ food/ heathrow airport. I am yet to find a comfort zone in it which comes from finding friends/conversations and looking at spots and remembering good ol times. The city is truly beautiful! The city offers a cultural experience hard to find anywhere else in the world. I associate London with percussion. I associate London with walks.

I am not sure what I set out to write but maybe London was lingering on my mind. Maybe it was because I did step out of the tube late at night to catch a glimpse of the most beautiful structure - 'Big Ben 'standing stoic late at night. Like someone just put together molten wax and created a structure so delicate like icing on a cake. Yet it stood strong like a timeless piece telling me, no matter when or no matter how I visit London - with a backpack or walking past from work. It will be the only thing that will never change!!

The year gone by - 2012

Take the plunge – you may never find out otherwise. Life is a bitch and a fairy tale! All depends on perspective! Wise people have often said the same things and crystallized the essence of life into simple one lines! Humans indignantly battle this truth and finally almost like a prophecy coming true, realization strikes! But experience we must. This year has been about experiencing a new home, writing lesser than I had promised to, chasing a few dreams, giving up a few and about simplifying my life. I have been displaced a lot more from my beliefs about belonging, purpose and desire. Primarily reconciling to the fact that physical confines and boundaries are merely a way of looking at a world setup in the medieval times. Purpose can be found in solemn dreams and desire can be fulfilled inside one self. The most notable aspect of this year was the musical journey. Structure strangely creates an unforced restrain in creativity which makes the pursuit almost exponentially more charming. All these years I just knew sounds that added beats to tunes, now I know how to just look at time as a new dimension that can dance a ballad with musical notes. I discovered so many new people, made so many new strong bonds and formed a queer new bond with myself. I am happy for 2012 has ended and I have several new impressions to add to my personality. How though will 2013 turn out? We shall see.

Involuntary Hiatus

Back after a break with nothing besides the paltry details of social interactions, Musical Realizations, True breaks a fortnight spent with the viruses of sorts to talk about.

Life in London continues to be good, socially hectic and artistically liberating. Decided to drop off 6 inches of hair today just for no good reason. Shopped in between. But most importantly made friends with my tabla all over again. Its interesting how restarting from scratch in some relationships can be a richer and more complete experience of sorts.

I have started to like patterns and algorithms which help me understand the rhythm! Playing with words is a new found pass time. 'Letting Go' is a new art I have learned. So lots has happened in this involuntary hiatus. I was not away doing just nothing!