Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Strange Balances


It was just another day. They all woke up to get on with the mundane. He did not stop to notice how beautiful the locks of her hair looked when sunshine cast a spell. She started to straighten things back into years of togetherness shared in a home. Time ticked on, they shared their lives – a bed, a home, their meals sometimes. Years of their marriage were cast as trophies around the house in the form of collectibles.  It was hard to imagine where all of it began. The background music of a distant bark or cheer on the television broke the balance intermittently. There she was getting on dutifully – cooking, cleaning and being a good wife. He was aware of her existence and she was too. The door bell rang – cutting through the silence and there was a stranger who knocked at the wrong house. Their eyes met, they shared a glance. There she was struggling to carry a heavy piece of baggage while cleaning the room. The stranger walked up, held it for her while she continued to clean. They looked again, smiled and the stranger left. He continued to read the paper while she looked at the mirror, fixed her hair and smiled. The stranger left holding onto a fragrance and carrying the picture of a beautiful face which was etched forever in the heart. 

Life goes on and we all find our balances, its just a question of which balance do we settle for- Two empty scales or two full ones or perhaps something in between.

Buddha on a plane

Been flying, travelling and in transit for a while now. Took off early morning again to the cold land of Oslo. Watched the sun rise, saw the snow melt and just closed my eyes and stared at a blank. Few random thoughts came my way. Jotting them down.

Freedom

Strapped besides wings
Feels like a new flight to freedom
Where is it that I go? Who or what is it that I leave?
Is flying freedom? Or does it make me a captive to running away?
I can fly miles on end or stay put for years against the shores of an angry sea...
Freedom is when none of it matters
Freedom is when I am still in moving flights and transported when on the shore!

Silence

Can I be deaf to the noise around me?
Will I always need headphones to cut through it?
Will I need a song inside my soul to drift away?
Or will I truly be comfortable with silences?

Imagination

What I see with my eyes closed and mind open is inexplicably better than anything I have seen before.

Being

I am just a manifestation of my thoughts.

Love

Clear as ice, fluid like melting water, transient like vapour but without a state of nothing! Love eludes me!

Longing

I want you so bad! And yet I am willing to wait all my life in the hope that you will show up on your own. What if you are waiting too?? 




Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Fireplaces and a sauntering mind


Quotes that randomly crept when the fireplace was lit and the mind was let loose

  • I don't lie, I just tell people what ought to be the truth!
  • Houses with large mirrors are good for the ego! #Godblessmylandlady
  • Fall fall till you succeed! #Iceskating #Lessonsinlife
  • Need to stay away from #chocolate! Without resolution;-)
  • Drumming was the only thing I was ever good at - John Bonham! I think I would re-phrase it as ' Drumming is the only thing that makes me alive!' #Realization
  • My rant in a diary could be torn! I could say sorry and ask my friends to forgive me and hope that it is forgotten in time. I can't delete e-mails I have sent or remarks I have made or delete traces of data I have left in the internet space! #Realization
  • Bump on my head- Attempt to clean the house oblivious to objects that are dangerous by their sheer presence in 'Meetas' house! #Selfrealization
  • I know!! The only thing that keeps me awake at night or ticking in the day is that - 'I don't know!!' #SelfRealilzation
  • Watching the leaves fight against the wind and finally give up! #Autumn

Hannah and her sisters


"For all my education, accomplishments and so-called wisdom, I can't fathom my own heart. "

Spent the afternoon watching a lovely Woody Allen movie and was struck by how ordinary and yet brilliant the movie was. There is something about Woody Allen that just makes life seem worth it despite the ordinary. This is a story about 3 sisters - One perfect, One recluse and the 3rd trying to re-affirm her faith in herself.

Every character is random just like Woodey Allen likes them to be. Each with their quirks. The movie shows how expectations make imperfect people look perfect. How each of us just tries to play a role and keep the balance going. How, changing the balance and equations can cause chaos and while the mind craves change, the chaos is not something we all can really deal with. Be it in the form of the 'tumor' that never was in Mickeys life, or a fling between Hannahs sister and husband the balance of Hannah and her sisters life is broken. We often carry a lot of bottled emotions, pressures in us and one fine day the balance just tips. However, we all vent and finally want to go back to a state of balance. I guess the theory of relativity does truly guide our lives.

Look around - We all have role models and ideal people who are not really what they seem but have been subjected to play that role just because that is how the evolved. We find people chasing a dream and forgetting the essence of life and life can just pass you by. What you never wanted might just be what you were always looking for.

Hannah and her sisters just left me with an urge as was quoted:


"And you're gonna believe in Jesus Christ? 
I know - sounds funny. But, I'm gonna give it a try. "

I am determined to find a faith - maybe a new Woodey Allen movie!