Together we are blind!

I started my day early, got a parking slot right in the front. Happy and smiley I was. After a long and tiring day I eventually get to my car and my foot finds its way straight into something. It was dark, I could barely see but..I could smell. I then turn on the flash light and see that my car has human poop all around. I was angry, bugged and just exasperated. Like which human poops around cars? Why do I work in an office where I cannot park my car in peace. Either I get scratches on my car or I am surrounded in the most hygienic of disinfectants. I see myself swearing at those souls that did this. Bugged, I drive back home just furious. I come home to a 3 bed roomed house with 3 washrooms, clean my shoes and continue to be angry. When the splash of water hits my feet, reality strikes me. A reality that I live in a country where more than 40% people do not have a house to live in, a bathroom to shelter their most private moments, a piece of cloth to protect themselves from the stormy rain or a meal to get them past a long laborious day. As a country we have been grappling with poverty, population for decades now. It angers me to see we have failed as a country, we have failed as citizens to do anything about this. I realize I am not angry with the poop, but with a nation that is actually full of folks who just learn to take shit, go back home drive in a luxurious car and cleanse their feet, wake up next morning ignoring the drudgery outside. I dont blame you reader, I dont blame anyone in particular, I just blame the community we form together, the nation that is us, the vision we all see putting our blind eyes together!

Remind me!

I am trying to remember.
What was I like before I made a few choices?
Did I chat long hours in silence or had some random stories to say?
If I did run impulsively across cities to catch a few fleeting moments?
If I had a picture of sunshine, frogs and hoped to catch a glimpse of that reflection up the hill?
If I found laughter in the most trivial of jokes and moments?
If I did think of a flaming in Mumbai that I would talk to and set free someday.
If I thought I would make a lot of smiles seem worthwhile and hold back tears for a good reason?
I am just trying to remember and thought maybe you might help.
Because I think the shadow that I left behind is closer to you than to me!

A Mind Game

Click, scroll, ping, poke (aaha!)
Hug, kiss, text, ring (:x)
Fleeting glance, whisking touch (...)
Poetry, jokes, songs (blah!)
Sensual dance, cryptic clues (hmm..)
Alcohol, sedation, burnt finger (ouch!)
Numb feet, Hair or Fair (?)
Mind Games afterall live on..Much beyond we do!

Letting Go

I guess I started my evening with a wrecked back and wondered why everyday turns out so different from what I plan it to be. I am not the sorts who ever complains about life, but I guess one just finds a reason to behave otherwise. At times I live with ghosts of the past casting over dreams of a future. I often lose myself trying to understand who I really am. What I discover scares me like when I put my hand into an old box and find a dead rat or something.

"We could drift together, and find our ways, if we did end up besides each other, maybe we were meant to be". Thoughts, instances gushing through my head. Maybe it is time I pick up the pen and write that story after all. When I looked back and thought about my take on relationships, I realized I so totally believed in destiny. I so believed in letting be, I so believe in something out there driving every conversation, every smile, every stare, every kiss. Why then do I still look at being true to my moment and going all out to get what I desire if I do desire it. Not by asking but by being, hoping and waiting to be desired just the same. Hoping one desire is destined with another. I do remember a few moments of beauty woven by destiny and I do remember how it felt when the flame from the match burned out just before the moment did. I remember feeling that gush, desiring that one moment, fighting against all that can be for it...yet knowing maybe I will see you and you wont look back or notice. It does not matter what matters to you, what does matter is if I am true to what matters to me. I am sure one fine day I will be cynical of the drifting feathers wading their way through life. I will maybe come back to Sydney and like it. I will get a chance to actually go ask what I want or stand up and scream at the end of the cliff, letting go of my utopic belief in open spaces or in black skies!