Another year gone by

Cant believe another year has gone past. This year had started with excitement and a promise. Like its start it was full of interesting encounters and changes in my life. From strange long sleepless nights in Portland to exciting but nervous days of leaving Bangalore, the year has offered a lot to me. The highlight of this year of my life has been ‘music’. I know I have come back to this love of my life and I am determined to invest, learn and unearth new things. I have started to take a leap. A leap towards trying, letting go, fearlessly embracing all that is real and possible. I have also mastered the art of treading back to my past like it is new and make fresh starts on many fronts. I am lost though and depressed as always on this day- My Birthday! Probably because it reminds me that one is expected to grow, change and feel accomplished as time goes by. And yet here I am clueless about most parts of my life and waiting to accomplish so much more. I feel like I am in the garden of Eden surrounded by apples that all look enticing. I have a desire to try them all and have no clue which ones I really want to pick.

As always people have been an important and integral part of my life. I want to thank a stranger who had no clue but inspired me to try, believe and go back to a lot of passions opening my eyes to what I have been missing. Also for teaching me brevity, patience and most importantly for making me realize that it’s the mind that can make anything or anyone turn into gold! I want to thank N for connecting again, accepting me despite all changes we have both been through and for the lovely bond we still share. For telling me the ‘secret’ that is me!  Then of course there has been so much I have found in the long pointless conversations at boca over a ‘sutta’ or two! Most importantly I have learned that friends do disagree, bicker and get on each others nerves. However, in a far off land when you get lonely despite the diversity the city has to offer, realizations strike about how comfort and nothingness spent together can never be replaced with new found passions or friends – Faces of those friends come back bringing back a smile and  one stares up in the sky gaping at a bunch of fleeting birds going back home or a flight taking off at heathrow! Thanks T, S for being around as always! Then of course you return home on days wanting to reach out to someone who will always open the door no matter what time of the day it is. A thanks for being that friend who is 'home' and also for a lovely gift - a mirror of you - 'D'

I have missed out a whole lot of people from this note and its not because they mean any less. But simply because as always I am on a flight headed to the US and  and I am running out of charge and need to shut down. Before I do shut down and welcome a new day, a new year and a new age that I feel extremely depressed about – I want to make a promise to myself that I will write whenever I feel like. I will spend a third of my year learning music, art and in creating as that’s what gives me joy. I want to give up on a lot of things and have made a good start at giving up several addictions. Just realized , people addictions are far more easier to quit than others!

Happy Birthday to myself.