Travel music and a cluttered mind.

I guess it has been a rather long day. However the last few days with instruments and access to them (courtesy the vacation) has got me addicted(almost).  While the day started with 1 hour of drumming and forcing myself to get up and leave, I also realized just how much there is to see if you keep your eyes open. I had to get my pair of footwear fixed and was most intrigued by the folks I saw at a cobbler stand at 8.00 a.m. There were random people wanting to sit and read the telgu news paper. There was also an old man almost committed to the cause of the cobbler and was busy keeping all customers seated and at ease whilst the guy did his job. Only later I found out that he wasn't related to the guy but just someone who did not know how else to while away time. The engineering needed to fix a shoe made me want to go back to a workshop and really get down to fixing, cutting, welding and whatever else. There is so much joy in the sheer mechanics of physical craftsmanship! You work on an object and you see an end product!

I finally completed my pending list of daunting and most mundane tasks- Taxes, Claims and Bills ! I discovered when I filed my travel claims, I almost re-lived most moments of my trip. "Recalling" is a strange word and a strange phenomenon. It was in those moments that I realized that I had a lot going on in my mind. I was aware of a few effects and only today realized the cause. I seem to be oscillating between clear and unclear territories. Exciting and depressing times. I am doing things that I cant seem to understand and yet been in control of most parts of my day. It takes a few bills and "recalling" and quiet time to realize that maybe your mind can think clearly and unclearly at the same time. I have been in the moment and away so many times that I did not realize it this far. I am amazingly ambivalent at this phase of my life.  I guess I have submitted my claims and that shall apparently settle the trip and clear my mind. Aah so easy apparently:-) if only the mind was so easy to please!


I did get back to my harmonium the last few days and its amazing how easily I can suddenly "recall" the lessons I learnt for a few months in my 2nd grade. I remember the Hindustani key notes, the fingers and the non-stop practice - mastering speed and precision. I also remember how the teacher left and my lessons came to a stop. I finally never found a Hindustani harmonium teacher again. I had a book of harmonium lessons stacked in my stash of books. I realized I have come so far and yet have to go back to where it all began. I can of course re-play the lessons in 5 mins now as opposed to 5 days of practice years ago. I can read a lot faster and move my fingers at a much faster pace. All the years of moving my fingers on keyboards of different sorts has made it easier. All the "no years" of learning has taken me back to learning from that book today.  I started to read and learn about Hindustani classical music last night till late hours.  Played the harmonium even to try out a few things at random hours of the night, thought about it through the day and finally got back home and been playing on my Harmonium for whatever part of the day is left.

Every one has a few favorites and mine for today during this late hour is "Raag Darbari Kanada". Listening to this

recording just made me imagine an empty palace with a large courtyard and a broken man sitting in the midst, below the moon surrounded by a cold structure of white marble. Suppressed and yet wanting to let go and then he almost gets into a trance singing and wakes up in a dream at the end of it. I guess my imagination has always been an overkill but I guess this is what came to my mind. It possibly a reflection of my state of mind or maybe my madness!

I also know that imagination is a good escape from reality. Reality is only perception! My perceptions sees:


Jet planes, mid night jogs;
Mirco breweries, early morning fogs.
An endless wait; a constant need!
Garden breakfasts and planting seeds.
An empty airport a sleepless mind!
Perfumes so many and yet just one of a kind!
Excitement, Rush, Desire Afar;
Long conversations driving in a car.
I can go on about reflections I see
I guess that was also just mee!